dear may,

inspired from here.

dear may,
you were pretty good. there are some parts of you i'll miss, and some parts that i'm glad are over. through you i made new friends. through you fresh tears came. through you joy and sorrow came my way. in some ways i'm glad you're over, yet in some ways i wish to replay you over and over.
you taught me many lessons. you showed me that it pays to be yourself; something i shall always remember. you taught me right and wrong, and you taught me how to handle all types of situations. you had mother's day, which was a wonderful day for me.

what awaits me in june? only God knows the answer to that. i bid you farewell, my dear may, and i'll see you in eleven months and a day.

goodbye spring // hello summer

xoxo,
Jessie

ps- i'm trying to upload the header for my photography blog, but everything is coming out darker, and the background is more gray than dark. did anyone have this problem? please let me know if you do/did!

awko taco

       [ hey, tacos=dinner. mmm. ]
know that awkward moment when you want to say something and then your brain thinks of a better word to use as you're saying it, so it ends up in a huge jumble and the other person stares at you trying to decipher what you said and you're just like oops.. and there's an awkward silence and you repeat what you said before, this time saying the write word although you blush slightly?

omg, me too // ugh

xo--lov--alwa--forever,

Jessie

inspired

i feel so inspired. i want to...to do something. have a photoshoot. write a book. just go out, explore and dream. i feel an urge to just... create and to be. to be me.

oh, and if it weren't for making others (and mine) computers slow, i wouldn't stop with the pictures.

xoxo,

Jessie

a "crybaby".

 nails between teeth,

feet pulled inward,

head down,

eyes lowered,

she stands, and

ignores

the taunts

teasing

jabbing

 ignores

the tears

threatening

to drip

from her

squeezed eyelids

and confirm

that she is

indeed

a

crybaby

Although that was not about me, this definitely seems familiar.

she calls my name and her hand beckons. i sit down beside her.
"yeah, mom?"
she clears her throat and gets straight to the point. "i have been thinking about it, and i decided..."
as she proceeds to talk, tears glisten in my eyes. i nod slowly to indicate i hear what she says.
she forces a tight smile. "i knew i could count on you to understand."
but i don't. it was clear to both of us that i didn't want to accept the news i had just been told. i drag my feet up the steps and into my room. flinging myself on my bed, i burst into bitter sobs. i can't stop for a while. it could have been ten minutes or an hour. it didn't matter to me.
a slight knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. i didn't bother to say "come in"; the door was already opening. my mom sat down next to me and sighed. we talked a bit more about The Matter, and she left again.

so, yeah. that's my story of today. unfortunately, it's nonfiction. at least for now, i'd rather not say what it's about. but maybe some other time.

stay strong // everything has a reason

xo,
J

what i want

recently, in school, we had to answer some questions about ourselves for a project. one of them was "what do you plan on doing with your future life when you graduate from school?" that got me thinking. (i know, inspiration in the strangest places, huh?) what do i want with my life? i came up with quite a few answers, but chose the first.
the way i defined that question, it has two meanings; a) a profession & such, or b) how you want your life to continue & such.
here are some of my answers --

++   i want to be a photographer. it seems the "latest stuff" to be a photographer. but i truly love photography. yes, i know, i'm certainly not the best, and i've got a lot to learn─but isn't it that way in life? how there's always more to learn?

++   i want to learn more about designing. designing fascinates me, and i have always dreamed of being one. maybe one day...

++   i want to be a role model. seriously. i want to be someone whom people look up to and wish to be like; yet not someone who people become jealous of.

++    i want to serve God in every way and glorify His name in the best way that i can. i want to also be down-to-earth and normal, to show people that one can serve God, yet also be fun, etc. i don't want to be embarrassed about this─i want the whole world to know about it, on the contrary.

++   i want to be happy. simple as that. 

live your life || aspire

 xoxoxo,
Jessie
  

my weekend

i had an awesome weekend - filled with pillow fights, games, late nights, ghost stories, and blueberry pancakes. i woke up to the sound of laughter floating from the kitchen. i got up and slipped on my robe. when i came downstairs to the usually dull house, there was my dad, trying unsuccessfully to flip a pancake. i started my day with pancake batter on my nose.
the rest is history. awesome history.

family time officially rocks.

xo,
J

so.

so.

they've gone.

fine.

who needs them?

not me.

..........

......

...

.
...
......
..........

who'm i kidding...

they've gone, behind my back.

whispered, laughed,

in my face

they don't care

they don't think 

i have feelings

it wouldn't matter

either-way.

they hate me, it's clear.

it is written

on their faces

their eyes shoot daggers at me

why?

what did i ever do

to make them despise me so

how they look down

at me

as if 

i'm nothing but a small

ant

doing everything, all the work

only to be laughed at

by the lazy grasshoppers.

they're traitors, no less.

fine.

let them

go
..................................................................................................................................................................................

just a little something on my mind right now.

-J

beauty is here

photo credit-moi

sometimes i look for Beautiful. you know, gorgeous flower trees, sparkling grass...watercolor paint, a vintage typewriter...Beauty is always to be found. not that you have to seek it, though. Beauty is literally at your fingertips.
mom making cookies? inhale the deep scent and appreciate. raining outside? raindrops on the window. Beauty does not have to be searched for. Beauty is right here.
your normally annoying sibling has sparkling eyes the twinkle like two little stars when s/he bothers you. make the most of the sparks.
Beauty shouldn't be searched for; the world was created with It. a simple evergreen may not be so simple after all. grab your camera, whether it's a little old p&s, or the newest dslr, and go capture Beautiful.

oh, and when you hug, smile, and laugh, that is the most Beautiful thing of all.

Beautiful is to be found // *hugs.*

love, love, love | jessie

the eye will always be the best lens, and the brain the best memory [card].

capture life // use His gifts

~jessie

"the photographer"

photo credit-moi

"hey jessie!" he hollers, swerving his bike around me.
"yeah?" i lower my camera.
"i see you're with my best friend again, Photographer."
my first reaction was angry. then annoyed. then frustrated. little brothers...
then i asked myself something. it's a bad thing that i love my camera, and that someone called me a photographer?? i know he said it to annoy me. but that was the biggest compliment i ever received. he always saw me with my camera. good. he called me a photographer. even better. he nearly ran me over with his bike. eh...not-so-good. back on topic. why should that annoy me? i'm in fact grateful to him for giving me the encouragement that i need. whenever he calls me a photographer, i smile and don't say anything. after all, who am i to turn down his "triumphant" moment? *wink*

make the most of annoying brothers // continue using that camera

your photographer || jessie x

recently loving

RECENTLY LOVING/
her weekend
what i could do this summer
this post that almost made me cry
waiting
this perfection. ♥  {go and tell her how lovely this it}
look outside
a realization on may

read this and listen to them. drink in what they're saying...but on a different level. listen to jianine and read, explore, write ... listen to jenny and just ... realize.

jessie
xo

blog for you

//post for bloggers//

question. who do you blog for? really, now. half of us blog for followers, readers, and comments. we don't blog for ourselves. which causes blogging to be forced and unwanted. but you have to. if you want more followers, you gotta blog. right?

 wrong. don't blog in a certain way because everybody else is doing it like that. blogging should be like a journal; sure, people can hear your feelings, but you don't want to actually publicize them. that can turn people off. acting as someone who you're not is a horrible idea. because you're meant to act as one person. YOU. copying is okay, as long as it still calls your name.

don't post or design because that's how all the good bloggers and everyone else has it-only do it if you like it. look at it and say, is this me? if you are positive the answer is yes, then you know that you are truly blogging for you; not for everyone else. blogging should be your own little journey-not a big copy. people love you because you can only be yourself.

do what you want // be-you-tiful.

your faithful blogger || jessie

haiku

[via Google Images]

the wind softly blows

a flower slips off a branch

floating towards the ground

may is here // make the most of spring

xo || jessie