inspired

<3

simple
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i feel so inspired. i want to...to do something. have a photoshoot. write a book. just go out, explore and dream. i feel an urge to just... create and to be. to be me.
oh, and if it weren't for making others (and mine) computers slow, i wouldn't stop with the pictures.
xoxo,
Jessie

a "crybaby".


 nails between teeth,
feet pulled inward,
head down,
eyes lowered,
she stands, and
ignores
the taunts
teasing
jabbing
 ignores
the tears
threatening
to drip
from her
squeezed eyelids
and confirm
that she is
indeed
a
crybaby

Although that was not about me, this definitely seems familiar.
she calls my name and her hand beckons. i sit down beside her.
"yeah, mom?"
she clears her throat and gets straight to the point. "i have been thinking about it, and i decided..."
as she proceeds to talk, tears glisten in my eyes. i nod slowly to indicate i hear what she says.
she forces a tight smile. "i knew i could count on you to understand."
but i don't. it was clear to both of us that i didn't want to accept the news i had just been told. i drag my feet up the steps and into my room. flinging myself on my bed, i burst into bitter sobs. i can't stop for a while. it could have been ten minutes or an hour. it didn't matter to me.
a slight knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. i didn't bother to say "come in"; the door was already opening. my mom sat down next to me and sighed. we talked a bit more about The Matter, and she left again.

so, yeah. that's my story of today. unfortunately, it's nonfiction. at least for now, i'd rather not say what it's about. but maybe some other time.
stay strong // everything has a reason
xo,
J